One of the biggest changes for me here is having help around the house and yard. Not to say that my hard-working husband hasn't helped in the past (he does more than his fair share!), but I actually have paid help here. And it's wonderful in so many ways. We are house-sitting this year and so the workers we have came with the house. How blessed we are to have these people.
Mama Julienne is our house helper...she is incredible, hard-working, sweet, and a grandma to 15 grandchildren! Let me just say that the way she goes about her daily tasks puts me to shame! She is inspiring as I watch her work.
While I don't know if I would say that life here is tremendously harder, things do take quite a bit more time to accomplish. We are in dry season right now and things are constantly dressed in layers of orange dust. No matter how much you wipe and sweep, it faithfully returns, so you have to really keep up on it. We are mostly cooking from scratch as well, so food prep takes more thought, planning, preparation, and time. And after the food comes the dishes! There is no dishwasher...all dishes are done by hand. With our size family, dishes can easily take 1-2 hours to wash and rinse.
I feel certain that if I didn't have the extra help, I would be buried in house work. Or else my family would be buried in orange dust! Today, Charlie has been pretty sick with a bad cold. He wanted me to hold him A LOT. And you know what? I did that. Without feeling stressed. Because of Mama Julienne. A burden has been lifted...
Now there is a flip side to all of this wonderful help. Having someone else in my house 6 days a week can be a little much sometimes. And she comes at 8am...when I am still usually in my pjs, barely having downed a cup of coffee, and haggling with the kids about who gets to use what bowl for breakfast. A certain sense of freedom is lost.
Also, I feed all of our workers one meal each day. That's 3 extra meals. I am happy to do this. However, it feels almost like having company each day and honestly, it adds to our food budget. What should I feed them? How much do they eat? Do I have enough leftovers they could eat? Should I heat it up or do they like it cold? Am I being generous or stingy? Do they really care? I feel guilty for even worrying what the cost is because, comparitively, we have more than enough to give, to share, and to invest in their physical health. I have this conversation with myself every day. I think it's just part of the process of adjusting, learning, and experiencing life differently, but it's tiring.
And there is tension on my part. I have a million thoughts running through my head when she is here. I feel bad that there is a mountain of dishes for her to do most mornings when she arrives (I am not exaggerating). I will admit to even doing some dishes before she gets here so she doesn't have so many. I wonder what she thinks when she empties my trash and sees wasted food. When she looks in my closet and sees stacks of clothes, what thoughts run through her head? As she scrubs, wipes, and sweeps and sees me sitting on the couch holding my sick baby and reading a book on my Kindle, does she think I'm rich and oh so lazy? There is a tension that lives inside me because I realize there are some drastic contrasts in our lives and I don't know what to do with it. It's uncomfortable. But that is not a bad thing. God uses discomfort...I pray that this discomfort does not make me cynical or full of guilt, but instead is a catalyst towards thankfulness, understanding others, and reaching out in relationship. This woman loves the Lord and that is one thing...the most important thing...we have in common.
8 comments:
I have often thought that having help would sometimes make more work...can you ask her how things are?
Amazing insight into all the 'issues' that come along with this new life.....thanks for sharing your heart dawn.....keep 'em coming! :) Mer
Just a thought, Dawn, but does your house keeper speak your language (English or French? And if not, is there any way you can communicate with her to ask her how she feels about the "mountain of dishes" or all those clothes in the closet she sees while you are holding Charlie and reading from your Kindle? My guess is these thoughts don't even enter her mind but they may burning up some of your needed energy.
PS I'm a Christian and your dad-in-law and I are old Seattle City Light retirees; I've asked him keep me abreast of how you and Sam and the three little ones are doing there in Africa. So I'm not a stranger to all that's been going on in the lives of the Wills families.
Thanks to all of you for your encouragement. Mama Julienne speaks French...I try to communicate with her, but I'm not the best French speaker. I know that she has worked for lots of missionaries in the past, so I don't think anything she sees is new. She probably doesn't think about it, like you said Ed. It's just me working through my feelings...:)
Dawn, thanks for being real and sharing your heart...which is quite precious I must say!
Very thought-provoking post, Dawn. I appreciate how real and open you are. I know I have had some of the same thoughts & discomfort, even though my situation is very different than yours. It's great to hear your perspective.
Thanks for your honesty. It is a hard thing to know how to adjust to, isn't it? Thanking God that He is leading you through that adjustment in such a beautiful, grace filled way! I love you and I'm so proud of you!
Dawn - I can so identify with your feelings - I've wondered how I'm going to feel about all of these things in a few days, too! We arrive in Haiti on Thursday, and our helpers will also "come with the house." (Sounds awful to say that way, but you know what I mean, culturally speaking!). Thanks for the openness and honesty - I know I'll be having the same feelings soon, and it'll be good to know I'm not alone!
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